Day 3 - My husband

Well, you all know how it goes - you can't live with 'em and you can't live without 'em ;-)


My husband, Jeremy, is without a doubt my soul mate, my best friend and my true love.  Unfortunately we met late in life - I was 29 and he was 31.  We got married 3 years later, 11 years ago now, and I still love having him around - most of the time.  We share a blessed life and 2 gorgeous daughters and the loss of 2 precious babies.


For a while he worked from home and we spent 24 hours a day together and I long for those days again.  I long for the time when we were not both exhausted at the end of the day... when we could spend hours talking about life and love and our beliefs and our experiences before falling asleep in each other's arms.  I know those days will come again, but at the moment it's hard slog.


My darling husband has not had an easy life being married to me.  I was in a car accident in 1994 that left me with a chronic whiplash injury.  This has meant that I am not as physically able as most other people.  More often than not he would have to come home from a mentally exhausting day at work to a physically useless wife.  


I'm a stay at home Mum but I can't say that I'm a housewife, I am home primarily to be there for my children - what a luxury.  I cannot scrub a shower or a bath or mop the floor or vacuum the stairs without having to be in bed for a day or two afterwards.  This wasn't an issue for most of our married life because we could always afford a cleaner.  Well, this is not a luxury we can afford any more and so the heavy cleaning usually falls onto his shoulders.


He never, ever complains about the state of the house no matter how bad it gets (and believe me it has gotten quite bad over recent years).  He makes no negative comment when I just open a tin of soup for dinner because I am physically incapable of doing any thing else... he just hugs me and says "Bad day my darling?".


Almost every night he has to massage my neck or my backs or my legs - not as a prelude to intimacy but so that my pain levels will decrease enough for me to be able to sleep.  Almost, every weekend he takes over the role of primary carer to give my body a much needed break.


I am grateful for his honesty, even though at times it is hard to hear.  Sometimes I wish he would just support me because I'm his wife, but then maybe I wouldn't be able to trust what he says as implicitly as I do.  He drives me insane with his need for detailed explanations, but I remind myself that I should be grateful that at least he is participating in the conversation and trying to understand rather than just switching off.  I love and admire the father that is constantly evolving in him.  If our girls grow up to find a husband and father even half as patient and even tempered and loving as he is they will be very lucky indeed.


Most of the time I'm grumpy and appear ungrateful for all that he does for me, but deep down inside I know that I am amongst the luckiest of all women in the world - I have a man who provides for me and for our children, someone who loves me, cares for me and always comes home to me.  I have found that elusive soul mate, someone who sees all my faults (and I have many!) and still loves me.  I sometimes wonder (out loud) how long he will put up with me and his answer is always the same "Forever".  I hope with all my heart that I don't drive him away but I can't say that I'd blame him if it ever happened.


Today, even though we had a massive argument less than 4 hours ago, I am grateful for my darling husband Jeremy, whom I love with all my heart and all my soul and I look forward to the day when we have enough energy to once again communicate with patience and tolerance like "in the old days".  I love you my babe xxxoooXXXOOO